I Wasn't Sure if Sam Elliott Was Amused or Wanted to Strangle Me

"Do you want to meet Lady Gaga?" "Ummm..."

When you vote in any kind of critics group, which I do, you're often invited to events to meet the filmmakers and actors of the movies who would like your vote. It's usually a way for them to tell the voters how much effort went into making the movie. Movies are difficult to make. Making movies that are actually good are even more difficult to make, let alone a movie that is being considered for any type of award. We probably take this all for granted a bit, so I actually do like hearing from the people involved what kind of miracle was pulled off so that the end result was not just watchable, but should also be rewarded.

The way these interactions work is there will be an event at a nice restaurant or a hotel. A publicist will come over and ask, "Oh, do you want to meet so and so?" It's rude to say no – and it's literally the point of being there – so I say yes and that usually becomes the starting point of me doing something incredibly awkward.

This was one such event for Bradley Cooper's A Star is Born. A movie, to this day, that I still don't understand how it did not win Best Picture. Also, Jackson Maine is one of the best movie names ever created. There should be Oscars handed out for character names. Jackson Maine would have won an Oscar. (I like to think this Oscar was created the year After Earth came out, just for an excuse to celebrate the name Cypher Raige.)

By this point, I had already been introduced to Bradley Cooper, who said, "Nice to meet you." But I corrected him, "Um, actually, we spoke on the phone for The Hangover 3." Now, I said this sarcastically, knowing there's no way he would or should in any way remember a 15 minute phone interview about The Hangover 3. But I think I said it too deadpan and he said, "Oh, right, yes." I then started comparing Jackson Maine to Bruce Springsteen and I believe Cooper's reaction was, "Hm." At this point, I decided it was best to just stand in the corner with no famous people around and have a wine and a piece of cheese.

A publicist approaches me, "Do you want to meet Lady Gaga?" Well, who doesn't want to meet Lady Gaga? I then look over at Lady Gaga and she is being swarmed by at least 15 people and is also taking selfies. There was no part of me that wanted to get into that scrum of people, so I said, "Ummm, I don't think so?" Then explained, because of the crowd, it looked unpleasant.

"No one is talking to Sam Elliott. Do you want me to bring Sam over?"

I respond, "Yes, I do."

I remember, as they are bringing a wary-looking Sam Elliott over, I just kept thinking to myself, "Don't bring up Road House. Don't bring up Road House. Don't bring up Road House." Anyway, yes, of course I brought up Road House...

(The Hard Pass only exists because of paying subscribers and I do need to have posts just for them. If you decide to become a paying subscriber today, there is plenty left to this post, plus a lot more like the story a famous person told me about Tom Cruise, Digger himself, that is now my favorite Tom Cruise story; accidentally tricking a Lost actor into telling me the ending; and the time Larry King called me a "freak" and asked if I was "a nerd.")