I’m Pretty Sure I Hurt Jeff Bridges’ Feelings

Here's some life advice: never find yourself in a position where you have to tell Jeff Bridges, "no." Actually, that's not quite what happened, as I didn't exactly tell Jeff Bridges, "no," but it was more I wasn't in a position to say, "yes." Which, Jeff Bridges, one of the nicest and coolest people on this planet, totally took as a "no." Which, in turn, made me feel terrible.

Anyway, this will all make more sense soon.

In 2023, I was asked by Sony if I wanted to write the essay that would accompany the (then) new 4K of John Carpenter's Starman, which would be part of Sony's Columbia Classics set... Actually, let's back up, it's a little more complicated than that.

I've long been an admirer of these sets. (I actually wrote about the development of the first set in a story that now no longer exists on the internet.) Plus, I had never written an essay for a Blu-ray before and it's something I've always wanted to do for two reasons. The first is that it just seems like a cool thing to have done, especially if it happens to be for a movie I love. The second is my uncontrollable envy of every single person who has gotten the chance to write one of these before.

My girlfriend, Kate, was then asked to write the essay for It Happened One Night for the Columbia Classics Volume 3. (Yes, more envy.) Since six movies are included in each volume, I asked her to put in a good word for me with the people who are in charge of these discs because, maybe, one of the other movies still needed someone. She was basically told, "We'll keep him in mind," which is usually a nice way to say, "No."

But when Volume 4 came around, I actually did hear back from them and I was given my pick of two films. The one I didn't pick is irrelevant,¹ other than the fact that it was mine if I wanted it – all good to go. The second option was Starman (a movie I love), but there was a catch: John Carpenter had final approval and he wanted writing samples and he could very much say "no."

¹Also, revealing the title would be rude to the person who wound up doing the essay, who I recommended and did a better job with that movie than I could have done.

I actually thought this over for about a day. I eventually decided getting rejected by John Carpenter would also be a good story, so I told Sony I'd apply for Starman. Choosing the writing samples to send was actually a pretty tough decision. I had two lines of thinking here. The first was to send something in which I think I sound smart. Something that says, "I am a cinephile and I spend all my free time at the Metrograph.²" A friend joked I should just send "What Was Luke's Plan in Return of the Jedi," which was basically a lot of words about how Luke Skywalker's plan to rescue Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt makes no sense. I laughed.

²I have never been to the Metrograph.³

³That's actually not true, I attended a party there once, but I've never watched a movie at the Metrograph.

But, the more I thought about it, would I rather get rejected for something that is me trying to sound smart, or for something that is the kind of thing I actually write? I decided I'd rather be rejected for something that is more me because (a) if it's a no, I wasn't the right person for it anyway, and (b) it's actually kind of funny I sent John Carpenter an essay complaining about the first act of Return of the Jedi. So, I sent link to "What Was Luke's Plan in Return of the Jedi?" to John Carpenter. I received my answer promptly...