James Bond and Summer Movies: Let’s Answer Electronic Mail Questions

The day I'm typing this is on a Friday. So that's good in that, if you're reading this on Friday, we have all made it another week. Anyway, this post on Bluesky got my attention:

Getting past my own neuroticism about assuming I'm "good" at anything beyond Mike Tyson's Punch Out,¹ this did kind of hit home. As much as I'm enjoying this newsletter, I do kind of miss the days where I was doing a similar amount of work and, in exchange, got a salary and health benefits. Though, maybe I do like the idea of The Hard Pass as a "tiny empire." But I do need paid subscribers to keep this "tiny empire" afloat, as opposed to using the time I put into this newsletter into something else more financially beneficial, like building a flux capacitor. It's what makes time travel possible. Anyway, hopefully one day, with your help, The Hard Pass can get to the status of "miniature empire." (And here are some links to the cornucopia of posts that await you that are only for paid subscribers.)

¹I was the first person I knew to beat Mike Tyson in Mike Tyson's Punch Out. I was in junior high in Springfield, Missouri. At the time I remember all the local news stations were fawning over this local area actor who was starting to appear in guest roles on television shows like 21 Jump Street and Growing Pains. In 2020 he won an Oscar for his role in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. Anyway, I get to school the next day to share my accomplishment with anyone who will listen, expecting accolades from my fellow classmates. Literally not one person believed me. I was told the game does not allow a player to beat Mike Tyson. I knew this was not true because I had done it. Finally, a guy named Mark said he'd come over and if I could do this in front of him, he'd tell everyone else that I was telling the truth. After at least 20 attempts, I beat Mike Tyson again, in front of Mark. Mark told everyone that it was true. Now no one believed Mark.

I also wanted to congratulate my friend and publicist Greg Longstreet on the launch of his new zine, Ritual. Greg, who is both a subscriber to The Hard Pass and has been over to our apartment for movie night, asked if I'd contribute to the first issue, writing about the Sean Astin, Kevin Bacon film, Whitewater Summer. I didn't quite understand what the zine was going to be, but I will never pass on an opportunity to write about Whitewater Summer.

I have a copy and it's looks dynamite. And the retro newspaper movie ads are a nice touch. If you happen to be in the LA area (I, too, qualify as, "nope, I am not") it is available at some local theaters – basically the ones you'd expect to carry a cool movie related zine.

Okay, let's answer some questions.

What is your favorite cross movie theory? Meaning it’s head canon only and gives you a small measure of joy to think of the movies in this way. I'll provide two examples in case my explanation isn’t good. The Indiana Jones movies are Han Solo’s dreams while in carbonite at Jabba’s. 007/James Bond is an identity passed from each 007 to the next assuming the mantle. So Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, Craig all went by a given birth name but upon becoming 007 they are now James Bond for MI6. Similarly there’s one that Bond regenerates like the Doctor in Doctor Who and each actor is his next face. – Joshua

First, I can imagine Harrison Ford's reaction to that Indiana Jones question and it would be unpleasant. I want Harrison Ford to be happy. I want Harrison Ford to win an Emmy for Shrinking. Please give Harrison Ford an award!

Okay, let's get a little nerdy about James Bond...